speechless

i dont know how to say it. eventhough its holiday, im getting restless. i know i did my examination badly but i cant seem to say it to 'them'. Especially when they have such high hopes on me.

I dont know. I think ive been slacking too much with the first sem. It gives me butterfly feelings in my stomach when all the lecturers told me that first year subjects are easy. and if you fail...


...

but still, the pressure is on. seems like the only thing now is to wait for the results. some ppl can be completely honest with their parents about their exams and their parent would console them, tellin g them to try harder next sem or whatever. It will do great help. But im speechless. I cant do it. I cant tell them i did badly. and im feeling guily. its not that i can keep the secret forever. the results will still be sent to them. i need their support but im too afraid to face the truth.


but i still cant.


How does it feels to let your lecturer tell you that even when you do well in the examination you will still fail the unit because of the hurdle and your internals sucks?

I know how it feels. Theres a long story behind it. my e-commerce elective

Firstly we were grouped with 2 business student who actually failed the unit once. However we were convinced by them that they are experienced and they will help us pass the unit with flying colors.

e-commerce is not that hard. its actually very easy. But our group project totally failed. The smart i-failed-last-sem leader didnt hand us the final report for checking. and worse still, he didnt do the executive summary and TABLE OF CONTENTS. yes, WHAT THE FUCK MAN. table of contents missing? ask a form 1 student and they can tell you table of contents is the first thing you put in reports. and he can still proudly say he forgot. asshole and when the lecturer asked him DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BIBLIOGRAPHY AND REFERENCE LIST. and he confidently say I DONT KNOW> ISNT IT THE SAME.

you gotta be kidding me.

Those two guys are jokers. Add with another guy who is switching course next sem. He did his job but without references and citations. !!!!!!!


you can call me for blaming ppl when we fail but honestly, THEY SHOULD BE BLAMED. the only ones who worked hard all these while in the group is me and christina. THEY DIDNT GIVE A fUCK about our presentations. THEY DIDNT GIVE A FUCK at all.



and the lecturer told us before the exams. he said he can thro the report into the dustbin. He say he can dun give a damn about us and fail us straight away.

Because internals and externals are both 50% plus hurdle, if you get less than 25% in any of these two, you will still fail the unit.

and right before the exams, where i was so high in spirit for studying for the subject. he told me that.

and he didnt tell us whether we failed or not. all he did was ask us to hope that he would not fail us. theres still chance. but still, by that time i was broken into pieces already.

and now i just wait. ive been trying to get rid of these feelings by going to out to cyber. ask anyone who know me. ive never been to cyber for 3 hours ALONE. and for two days straight.


i am tired of it. its a burden. and i feel relieved when i blog this out. it really helps.

thanks for listening, world. thanks...